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Cousins From Hell

When I was a kid, my cousins were my first playmates. We swam in grandma's muddy pond, tried to see if we could bring down our uncle's...

Idiosyncrasies

Just what exactly is an idiosyncrasy? The definition that lies therein can sometimes depend on your economic status. If you are a rich...

The Courtesy Flush

In some American venues there should be more rules, restrooms should fall under this category. Case in point, one time while working in a...

Beating The Crowd (with a stick)

I don't do well in crowds. Allow me to stipulate, when I say I don't do well in crowds that does not mean I'm crowd phobic, it only means...

Negotiating American Waters

Please remember that from my twisted point of view that if you visit a bookstore and ask for directions to the self-help section you have...

Fun With Words

I hear it all the time from people who know me well that I am a lover of words, I suppose it's true. I wouldn't say I have a grandiose...

Never Play Leapfrog with a Unicorn

The title of this story has almost nothing to do with the story. It is nonsensical, and I can nearly smell your frustration. I'm sorry...

Time is Undefeated

Follow my twisted Okie logic for just a moment if you will. There are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, 7...

Hospital Gowns and Other Atrocities

Here is something I have noticed, certain things in life are continually updated that don't need to be, but other things deeply in need...

The Fur Coat Incident

Jimmy Buffet song that goes something like this, "now that I'm older I don't wear underwear, I don't go to church, and I don't cut my ha" ...

Soak it in Kerosene

When I was a but a wee lad, I found out quickly that when we were at grandma's house just casually breezing into the ER was not an...

I Miss My Testicles

I think it was Dustin Hoffman in the movie Tootsie that suggested that any time a man misbehaved he should be zapped in the badoobies...

Hotel Problems

It seems no matter the hotel chain they all seem to suffer from similar problems no matter the price range. It just goes to show that no matter how much money you throw at a problem that the basics have always been cheap. Soap, water, and elbow grease is paramount in any hotel. Did you ever notice that you can check into any hotel at 5pm but still be fiddling with the card reader by 6? For some reason my son can make it work the first time every time. I am unsure if it is jus

Being Tight #101

Do you know how to know when you are tight? When it comes to fruition that you realize distinctly the last time there was a...

Fun Loving

I mentioned in my introduction that being in my head was like riding a roller coaster. The loop to loops might be a killer. You may even...

Laxative Love

My grandma on my mother's side was truly one of the greatest women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I loved and respected her...

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