Just what exactly is an idiosyncrasy? The definition that lies therein can sometimes depend on your economic status. If you are a rich person people tend to call you eccentric, if you are middle class like the rest of the masses, they will probably just refer to you as strange. Here is one that certainly qualifies, I have a friend that refuses to drink water out of a glass that is drawn from the bathroom faucet. Why? It's a great question but not even she can tell you why because her fear is not rooted in fact, only ridiculousness. Is the sink in the kitchen any cleaner than the one in the bathroom? What about the garden hose? My point in short is this, idiosyncrasies are at best strange behavior and being part of the human race, we have all dipped our toes in that particular trough. Being a part of humanity means that there is always the possibility that there is too much chlorine in our gene pool. Doubt my premise? Have you seen Gary Busy lately? The fact is by definition we are all a little odd, some of us are just better at coving it up than others. If you peel an orange, you will find a lot of layers, including some of that weird pithy stuff. Humans are no different.
While contemplating being human it is important to ask questions like: which do you prefer Dr. Pepper or Mountain Dew? Would you rather have pretzels with a sweet drink or just sink salted nuts in the bottom of a soda bottle? Do you prefer winter or summer? Regular or decaf? Tuna or chicken salad? Boxers or briefs? By the way, I now know why they call them jockey shorts now, it's because they ride you all day. Do you prefer Bill or Hillary? Pop Tarts or Little Debbie's? For my money I always pick Pop Tarts. What other snack already comes in the same shape and size as your toaster? Not only is that kismet, it's also very American.
My grandma on my mom's side would often tell me that when she was contemplating today, she would stir her coffee clockwise. When thinking about yesterday she would stir in a counterclockwise direction. So that just begs the question, what did she do when she was thinking about tomorrow, just drink decaf? I would have never put it past her to dole out these ideas just to mess with my little Okie head. At the ripe old age of ten I was already prone to overthinking nearly everything. It just goes to show that everything is just a dress rehearsal for something bigger. I must say that the definition of odd for me is a calf I bottle fed that became so spoiled I would have to pump his tail to get him to walk like I was trying to get water out of a rusty pump. I suppose it's true that even critters have personalities, I have never owned one that didn't.
Behavior that is considered odd by one person wouldn't be by another, that's what makes us individuals. I have seen people use a saltshaker on a piece of cantaloupe, can't that be considered counter-productive? I am sure that Millennial types think my generation is odd when they hear us talk about things like "horizontal hold." And by the way, a lesson I just learned, never clean a flat screen television with Windex. Just trust me on that, the results are not good. Just a show of hands, how many of you people in your 50's and 60's spent a fair amount of time wrestling with the picture on an old Zenith? It built character, didn't it? It (as grandpa famously said) put hair on your chest. When I was kid, we owned a console that I swear weighed as much as our grocery getter station wagon. There was a sweet spot on that old TV where once the picture had gone askew you had to smack it once. And I do mean once, any variation away from that formula meant that any love story could quickly take on the look of an NBA game.
My own father was riddled with idiosyncrasies. Not unlike Yule Gibbons he would commune with nature in his own unique way. I'm not saying he would chew on parts of a barn and talk about the benefits of home-grown fiber, but he did like to talk to his animals. He is obviously not the only one I have seen do that, I too have done it, it's just that none of my critters ever talked back. Once while on a trip to Texas we picked up a stray Irish Setter at a Texaco that I promptly named Tex. The name makes sense, right? After a few weeks had gone by dad told me that the dog's real name was Arthur. When I asked him how he knew that his reply was "because he told me so." I didn't know if I should phone a psychiatric hospital or just give laugh it off. I laughed it off. After considering how difficult it is to have someone committed against their will, I just decided the path of least resistance was a better path for me and for him. I realize now that being sometimes uniquely odd was what made him my dad. And that's the good stuff, those are the memories that make life worth living. I wish he and I would have had time to discuss the merits of the movie Dr. Doolittle.
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