Why are we attached to stuff? We can't take it with us. In most cases my wife is a born keeper, and I am a born loser. Allow me to explain. This is to say that she keeps everything and tosses nothing. My wife keeps everything from her drill team uniform from high school (which I understand) to last week's gum wrappers (which I don't). My grandpa split with me in high school the price of a Ford F1 truck. You have no idea how badly I wish I still had that thing. Even without an

Not so long ago I had a conversation with my wife, and she started off with this question; "Why do you feel the need to write?" The best way I can describe this weird phenomenon in my life is it's a bit like poor man's therapy. When my brain becomes too jumbled with thoughts it helps to organize them on paper (or in my laptop) so that my brain does not become too congested. When my brain becomes too clogged with information there isn't room for anything new until I dump the l

We have all had that moment that gave us pause while spending money where we ask ourselves, "DID I PAY TOO MUCH FOR THAT?" I'm not talking about shopping for things like Baluga caviar or champagne, I'm talking about everyday items like tube socks or razors. At the beginning of this summer, I tried to locate the flip flops I had put away at the end of end of last summer but could not. What do I do? Buy new ones, right? I mean, why wouldn't I, it's not really like a major purch

As a writer it is important to stay within our own wheelhouse. In other words, we should write about what we know. Believe me when I say I have done my fair share of cooking and had own kitchen type implosions. Based on that and the fact that I eat at least three meals per day I believe it is my American right to write about food. Not unlike fresh milk, Americans cream usually rises to the top. It is however patently absurd how we can be the cream of the crop and poor white t

Almost every basketball team has a bald player named Curly. In addition, every prison yard has a guy who rules the roost named Tiny who is 6'7" and goes 285. But the Tiny from my past was a cow, a Holstein to be more specific. She was as big as barn door and likely weighed more than a Studebaker. I remember once ribbing granny that if Tiny continued to get wider, we would eventually have to rub her flanks down with axel grease so we could continue to get her in the barn. Do t

These days the younger generation seems to be pretty happy to keep their nose in their phone. Imagine for a moment that you are so consumed with yourself that you are convinced that every moment of every day revolves completely around you. For my generation that's pretty hard to imagine. Although they are not really engaging with anyone during this activity you still couldn't consider it quite time. As for us in Generation X, we were raised on garden hose water, M-80's, and n

Have you ever heard the saying "an ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure?" Not only is it humorous, it's also true to a fault. What exactly is it about money that makes people think they are above others on the hierarchy ladder of life. It might be hard to believe but at one point I dated a woman whose nose was so high in the air, had it sprinkled she would have drowned. But I should stipulate for the sake of my reputation I only went out with her once. After she ord

It's interesting that no matter who we are nakedness is always subjective. In many European countries women often go topless at beaches and in commercials, I should remind you that is considered normal there. Although, it should also be pointed out that only in America are breast are considered sexual. When I was a kid porn was not a thing yet. The best we could hope for in the 70's was when one of our dad's discarded and old Playboy magazine and we just happen to be lucky en

Statistics say that one in four of Generation Alpha adults still live at home with their parents. I may just be a redneck at heart, but I can still count; that's 25%! This begs the question, once mom and dad are pushing up daisy's, who will pay for the Yoo Hoo and Cheetos? An even bigger question is, who will pay the mortgage? Will they have to start heading over to the nearest pawn shop and trade their worn-out Play Station 4 for cash in order to get money to buy bologna and

Being no more or less human than the rest of society I have a list of things that get my goat, consider them grievances. We should probably start with the one that I see as the current number one contender, the automatic car wash. These people have surpassed everyone except the "gym membership" people in the number of dollars that are being extracting from our checking accounts at the end of the month when we have received nothing in return for the cost of doing business with

Is it solely an American affliction or is it everywhere that garages have simply become a dumping ground for all the crap we are never going to use. Last time I checked the whole idea of having a garage is so we can have a place to park our cars. But like most beliefs I hold dear that is probably just another outdated concept. I have driven my neighborhood on a beautiful weather day and have seen a few that are as neat as a pin, although I admit those homes are becoming rare.

Have you ever had a logical conviction that you went all-in on, yet it seemed to go against the grain of societal norms? Not so long ago I had a conversation with my wife about her multiple AM alarms she has set. I think her alarms start going off around 6:30 AM and don't stop until around 7:45AM. And me, trying desperately to apply logic to an illogical situation told her what my own AM routine was. I set one alarm for the time I need to get up, I shut it off, go about my da

I am never quite at ease with a trip to the mechanic or the doctor's office. It likely stems from my dislike of needles and the possibility of getting ripped off. I always dread the idea of having my prostrate checked. The problem there stems from the idea that if you move said exam from a doctor's office into a hotel room it goes from being a medical procedure to being a felony. There are many razor thin lines we all walk in this life my friends. Both, my body and my F-150 a

With all of the new-found technology that is out there now it seems silly to put a bandage on something we could actually fix. Surely, we have reached the point where fixing a heart with blockage has become as simple as just taking an aspirin. I always aspired to invent something I like to call the "ZAP APP" where a device in your phone could simply be laid next to your heart and shock it back into rhythm, although my digital learning disability has slowed that progress. I am

I spent the weekend looking at old photos of the family. Grandma was obviously in most of those, and a rush emotion came over me. Many of us grandkids hold a special place in our hearts for grandma. She had a quality that was hard to define but easy to love. She was a simplistic woman in many ways, but her life was punctuated by being extraordinary. I watched her do it, but I couldn't begin to tell you how she pulled it off. She spent much of her life with calf slobber on her

Is homeostasis a new rapper in Hollywood? Sorry, that's another dad joke that evidently, I cannot resist. The definition for homeostasis for us older cats read as follows: "the tendency towards a relative stable equilibrium between independent elements, especially as maintained by the psychological process." This is nothing more than a fancy (and longer) way of saying that when things are right with the world there is usually harmony between our minds and our bodies. If

Follow me if you will to the not so distance past of 7-19-2024. On that day Microsoft had a pretty serious problem with their software that translated to many businesses that included airlines and rail stations ceasing operation for a few hours until the problem was solved. I even noted that one of the businesses here in my local vicinity of Tulsa (Holly Refinery) was also shut for the afternoon that day. Microsoft referred to it offhandedly as a glitch, but the truth is it w

My wife was recently put on a medication to help her with restless leg syndrome. It claims that two possible side effects are (and I quote) "heightened sex drive and the possibility of developing a gambling addiction." I can most certainly deal with the effects of the sex drive on my own; on the second problem we might just need to get her car low jacked. Many moons ago I worked with a welder who had mentioned to me that he had done the necessary math and knew when a slot mac

If you are unaware of the cost of raising a child, I am about to enlighten you. From birth to the age of eighteen it costs around $300,000 to raise a child. Of course, tomorrow the price will go up. The only incentive for people to charge more for anything is because they CAN. I'll say without guilt or recourse that making money off the downtrodden is morally reprehensible. This statistic of the cost of rearing children, of course, does not include the price to send them to c

For some reason I am very in tune to the spending habits of those in my circle. This is likely because I am very in tune to my own. In addition to paying particular attention to what I buy, I also like to be mindful of being a good steward of what I have been blessed with. I have been referred to as tight as bark on a tree, or a wedge-ass, but the truth is that probably doesn't even come close to describing my particular monetary affliction. I have even been told that I squea