Is it solely an American affliction or is it everywhere that garages have simply become a dumping ground for all the crap we are never going to use. Last time I checked the whole idea of having a garage is so we can have a place to park our cars. But like most beliefs I hold dear that is probably just another outdated concept. I have driven my neighborhood on a beautiful weather day and have seen a few that are as neat as a pin, although I admit those homes are becoming rare.

Have you ever had a logical conviction that you went all-in on, yet it seemed to go against the grain of societal norms? Not so long ago I had a conversation with my wife about her multiple AM alarms she has set. I think her alarms start going off around 6:30 AM and don't stop until around 7:45AM. And me, trying desperately to apply logic to an illogical situation told her what my own AM routine was. I set one alarm for the time I need to get up, I shut it off, go about my da

I am never quite at ease with a trip to the mechanic or the doctor's office. It likely stems from my dislike of needles and the possibility of getting ripped off. I always dread the idea of having my prostrate checked. The problem there stems from the idea that if you move said exam from a doctor's office into a hotel room it goes from being a medical procedure to being a felony. There are many razor thin lines we all walk in this life my friends. Both, my body and my F-150 a

With all of the new-found technology that is out there now it seems silly to put a bandage on something we could actually fix. Surely, we have reached the point where fixing a heart with blockage has become as simple as just taking an aspirin. I always aspired to invent something I like to call the "ZAP APP" where a device in your phone could simply be laid next to your heart and shock it back into rhythm, although my digital learning disability has slowed that progress. I am

I spent the weekend looking at old photos of the family. Grandma was obviously in most of those, and a rush emotion came over me. Many of us grandkids hold a special place in our hearts for grandma. She had a quality that was hard to define but easy to love. She was a simplistic woman in many ways, but her life was punctuated by being extraordinary. I watched her do it, but I couldn't begin to tell you how she pulled it off. She spent much of her life with calf slobber on her

Is homeostasis a new rapper in Hollywood? Sorry, that's another dad joke that evidently, I cannot resist. The definition for homeostasis for us older cats read as follows: "the tendency towards a relative stable equilibrium between independent elements, especially as maintained by the psychological process." This is nothing more than a fancy (and longer) way of saying that when things are right with the world there is usually harmony between our minds and our bodies. If

Follow me if you will to the not so distance past of 7-19-2024. On that day Microsoft had a pretty serious problem with their software that translated to many businesses that included airlines and rail stations ceasing operation for a few hours until the problem was solved. I even noted that one of the businesses here in my local vicinity of Tulsa (Holly Refinery) was also shut for the afternoon that day. Microsoft referred to it offhandedly as a glitch, but the truth is it w

My wife was recently put on a medication to help her with restless leg syndrome. It claims that two possible side effects are (and I quote) "heightened sex drive and the possibility of developing a gambling addiction." I can most certainly deal with the effects of the sex drive on my own; on the second problem we might just need to get her car low jacked. Many moons ago I worked with a welder who had mentioned to me that he had done the necessary math and knew when a slot mac

If you are unaware of the cost of raising a child, I am about to enlighten you. From birth to the age of eighteen it costs around $300,000 to raise a child. Of course, tomorrow the price will go up. The only incentive for people to charge more for anything was because they CAN. I'll say without guilt or recourse that making money off the downtrodden is morally reprehensible. This statistic of the cost of rearing children, of course, does not include the price to send them to

For some reason I am very in tune to the spending habits of those in my circle. This is likely because I am very in tune to my own. In addition to paying particular attention to what I buy, I also like to be mindful of being a good steward of what I have been blessed with. I have been referred to as tight as bark on a tree, or a wedge-ass, but the truth is that probably doesn't even come close to describing my particular monetary affliction. I have even been told that I squea

How many of you have friends and relatives who can take something small and blow it way out of proportion? We all have that one friend who claims while cutting their toenails they accidently lost a toe. I too am one of those individuals who likes to stretch the truth to the full extent of the law, although I only usually do so on paper. Whether or not that can be considered a white lie or not may just depend on your perspective, just remember, I am a professional; even though

I have often heard that patience is a virtue, it's more like a way of life. For some reason I have been blessed with a level of patience that rivals most. Most issues that would drive people to the brink of insanity barely faze me. People who chat it up at teller windows, long lines at supermarkets, people with numerous questions at an H&R Block seminar, school plays that run long because the kids cannot remember their lines, and traffic that is moving so slow you read the wr

One day, not so long ago on this big blue rock we call earth I happened upon one of those bizarre hair removal places. I have no idea who owns these places, but I have it in mind that they might be mildly reminiscent of Surge on movie Beverly Hills Cop where his accent is just off enough that you cannot tell where he is from. When I say these places are off-putting, I am talking mostly about the smell. Most American businesses will let you know (smell-wise) as soon as you wal

Our Declaration of Independence from England includes three examples of what are referred to as "unalienable rights." Those rights are as follows: Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. What exactly does the term unalienable mean? These are essentially rights that cannot be taken away from us. I suppose I should point out that happiness and the pursuit of happiness are not one in the same. At what level we obtain happiness is largely up to us. If you disbelieve that man

Have you ever considered what the difference is between fitting in and belonging? When you cut your hair in a certain style or dress like your neighbor you are attempting to fit in. Weirdly, there are only two other people in America with a haircut like mine, they are Trey Gowdy and Anderson Cooper. Our haircut appears at first glance that we simply put our heads in a pencil sharpener and gave it a couple of turns. Come to think of it, that might serve as a fine alternative,

I recently had a conversation with a female friend of mine who recently tried dating again after being widowed for some time. The attempt fell flat and was to say the least unsuccessful. She is fifty years old and the reaction from most of the men she meets is "aren't you too young to be a widow." This of course is a ridiculous thought because one can be a widow even if they are in their 20's. This puts me in mind of this saying "if you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a

There are certain rifts between married couples that never really go away. The use of some products versus others can be an ongoing problem. For instance, in the times when my wife mops the floors, she uses some half-baked (girlie) product called Fabuloso. As near as I can tell it's just tap water that has been colored with some purple food coloring and hit with some heavy perfumes that essentially does nothing. Call me a man, but for my money nothing does a better job than h

Even my own father had struggles with staying healthy as we all do. He could often be heard uttering the words "MMM NUTRTIOUS." However, those times only happened when he was consuming "foods" like apple fritters, chocolate milk shakes, sausage gravy, and greasy cheeseburgers. He had a fool-proof plan when gauging a good hamburger joint, he said if the food in the bag left a grease stain from the time you picked it up until the time you go it to the truck it was going to be g

If you have ever worked in a restaurant, you have no doubt heard about the five second rule. That is the rule that states that anything from a piece of fruit to a hamburger patty that has rested joyously on the floor for less than five consecutive seconds is NOT suspect. This is to say that it is still edible and by default, still servable. Obviously, the health department would disagree with that assumption. Just to be a good steward of the public I would pop the object in q

I don't believe in divorced if it can be helped. I figure if you pinky swear in front of your parents and kinfolk to stay together forever you should honor that. These days many young couples hit just one marital speed bump, and they are ready to call the whole thing off like they just got bucked off a mad bull. My wife and I however just got a divorce of sorts, a sleeping divorce that is. It was sad but ultimately necessary. When I get through laying out the parameters about