Back in the day when many of you were either still whipper snappers or barely a gleam in dad's eye McDonalds would continually change their signs to accommodate the number of burgers, they had sold in a given time frame. Until sometime in the late 90's when the youth of America forgot how to spell, they threw up their hands, cranked the fryers up on high, and changed the signs to say, "Billions and Billions served." To be fair I am not even sure if I can legally use that phrase as they might just own the rights to it. The rock group KISS bought the rights to the phrase "end of the road." Weird but true. In the case of McDonalds, it would not surprise me in the least if some bottom feeder lawyer slithered down to some California courthouse to plead their case while running his car on reconstituted vegetable oil. It might cause the interior of his BMW to smell like French fries but what the hell, he would make any sacrifice for the kids, right? I'm sorry if you are a legitimate lawyer instead of an ambulance chaser, but in this case one bad apple CAN spoil the whole bunch.
I find that being someone who does not give a wit about bizarre agendas taxing in a world that seems to be full to the brim in nothing but. Most times I just feel its exasperating. That in itself is just another euphemism for a more direct term which is, pissed off. I find the most entertaining part when talking about McDonalds is that most American's recoil every time, they hear the name. You would be better off telling a soccer mom you worship Satan as to have her seeing you with a Mc Griddle hanging out of your pie hole. Why is that? Is that not absurdity at its level best? While the corporate giant may care more about the bottom line than how much they contribute to landfills and what the contents are of a Happy Meal, aren't they just a microcosm of the American dream? My point being that if they are correct in saying "billions and billions served" somebody besides just you and me are woofing down Big Macs. Ameria was built on the overindulgence of sugar laden products, loud rock and roll, Rambo movies, and Marlboro's. Phillip Morris has been manufacturing nails for all of all our coffins since 1847. SALUTE!!
Have you ever heard a parent use the term "picky eater?" That is just another euphemism for big old pain in the ass. Funny thing is, if those same kids were dropped into the jungles of Madagascar and you dropped them liver and onions with a side of boiled spinach, they would kill each other trying to get to it. In the words of my old pal Jon, "hunger makes a great sauce." Just remember that life is all about perception. Euphemism is defined in Wikipedia as: "a mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt referring to something unpleasant of embarrassing." Gobbledygook!! That's just the PC version of words designed to cover up the truth. If you disbelieve my premise, just take a look at politics these days, they never lie, they only participate in disinformation. Do you really think it's accidental that the very word politics when broken down into two words shakes out as follows: "poli" which means many, and "tics" which just by happenstance means blood sucking parasites? People who are poor are now called "disadvantaged." If you find yourself in a wreck, you will now probably refer to it as a "traffic accident." People don't get canned or fired anymore, they are either outsourced or downsized. What does downsize mean, is that the opposite of being supersized? Even toilet paper is now called "bathroom tissue" which tells me we cannot even be honest about how we wipe our butts anymore. If we cannot get real about that just where does that leave us?
When I was a kid, I often referred to my grandma on my dad's side as the sheet Nazi because she liked to iron them. That's Sick!! I have been told now days that we should never refer to anyone as a Nazi unless they are an actual Nazi. Just remember the Sothern Baptist creed that says right after I make a derogatory statement about any person, I must direct follow it up with "may they rest in peace." Just what's next? Are we going to start calling rapist "nonconsensual sexual intercourse advocates?" Sounds absurd doesn't it but trust me when I say that is where we are headed with this madness. Other words that are now ill-advised are crazy, psycho, and schizoid. If we ban those words what adjectives, we will use to describe Gary Busy? Clapping has been banned on some college campuses because evidently it causes anxiety in some students. Just remember that offence is TAKEN not GIVEN.
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