With all of the new-found technology that is out there now it seems silly to put a bandage on something we could actually fix. Surely, we have reached the point where fixing a heart with blockage has become as simple as just taking an aspirin. I always aspired to invent something I like to call the "ZAP APP" where a device in your phone could simply be laid next to your heart and shock it back into rhythm, although my digital learning disability has slowed that progress. I am

There are certain rifts between married couples that never really go away. The use of some products versus others can be an ongoing problem. For instance, in the times when my wife mops the floors, she uses some half-baked (girlie) product called Fabuloso. As near as I can tell it's just tap water that has been colored with some purple food coloring and hit with some heavy perfumes that essentially does nothing. Call me a man, but for my money nothing does a better job than h

Nothing makes my blood boil quite like an advice column. To begin with any such advice usually springs from a person who is unable to think for themselves. At the very least they are usually unable to wrap their heads around an easily solvable problem quickly. Whether this problem stems from a lack of decent role models, a lack of common sense, or that they are just dumber than a fence post is anyone's guess. People who are confused by everyday tasks are confounding. Try to r

Have you ever seen those medical case studies where people are addicted to heroin? Any time a person partakes in their drug of choice their brains light up like a child's Lite Brite toy. My drug of choice (evidently) is cheeseburgers, which may not be without its risks but at least it's legal. I suppose a person who had a wretched childhood cannot be blamed for trying to dull those memories, but to what end? I have always contended that any adult who cannot even take care of

One who is perplexed might ask, what is the difference between testosterone and estrogen? Well, that's simple, testosterone makes you do dicey things like climb atop a 2,000-pound bull without any regard for the welfare of your spine. Estrogen makes you long for an over-abundance of throw pillows on your bed and causes you to tear up during Bridgette Jones movies. There are specific differences between the separation of men and woman that go far beyond chemical compositions,

Remember not long ago when a twenty-something year old male made an abomination of everything beer drinkers stand for? Imagine if you will Hank Hill with a terrified look on his face, it's easy if you try. In many ways I identify with Hank in that I TOO hate change. Allow me to stipulate once again, I despise change, not people. Men can't be women and women can't be men, sounds like an easy enough premise to buy, doesn't it? But it also seems to be a radical idea that young p

Dad and I had three memorable things we did often together in my youth. #1) we would stop at a little quick shop in my hometown called " Toot N Tell." It was called that because you drove up, tooted your horn, and you would tell them what you wanted. The brown paper bag we would take home would usually consist of a pack of Camels and about fifty pieces of bubble gum. The old man liked to see how many pieces of gum I could fit in my mouth at one time which was a blast for both

No other phrase is more American than "All You Can Eat." Most other countries eat to live, we live to eat. What other country would invent a holiday centered totally around food like Thanksgiving? I always feel sorry for those poor saps on the evening news who show Americans from only the waist down until I realize that could just as easily be me. By the way, who decided the word obese is more PC than the word fat, it's certainly not quicker to the point. That is like calling