Have you ever seen those medical case studies they do on people who are addicted to heroin? Any time a person partakes in that drug their brain lights up like a kid's Lite Brite toy. I suppose you cannot blame a people with such a troubled pasts to figure out a way to dull their pain, but to what end? Are we really going to tell them it's okay if they end up on a ventilator and all three of their kids, with three different daddies (who are BTW all MIA) are all going to become wards of the state? I think it was Barack Obama that said, "anyone can be a sperm donor, but it takes a special guy to see fatherhood all the way through." I can understand the spirit of what he is saying but that is like saying, "anyone can take the kids to IHOP, but it takes a guy with courage to pay the bill." Some things we just do because it's the RIGHT thing to do, not for a pat on the back. I never considered being a dad a chore, it was too much fun.
They say that anytime we eat foods like McDonalds that the same places light up the brain as when a person partakes in heavy drugs. Is that true, or are the more liberal among us just going after fast food places because they are such big polluters? Is that just junk science? I'll let you be the judge. This is loosely saying that no matter what you are into and no matter how sick and twisted it might be it's okay, and essentially isn't your fault. In a state where I serve as district attorney you will NOT be allowed to sue the inventor of the fork just because you have a fat ass. I miss the good old days where if you were screwed up (and many of us are) you owned the problem like a champ. You can blame your PAST for your CURRENT problems but that won't change your FUTURE.
I suppose that the world we live in is still the same place it always was, it's just that the presentation of it is so whitewashed it's barely recognizable. The times per day I must manually shut my own jaw from dropping seem to be piling up. Is it just a matter of time before someone on the 700 club gets caught dropping the "F" bomb off camera? If you don't believe that televangelist can be as crooked as a question mark you don't have to look any further than the late 70's with good old Jim Baker. Have you seen what Jim has been up to since he got out of prison? He is still singing "Amazing Grace" along with his new Tammy Fay look-alike wife. He perplexed me even back in the day when he announced that he was going to build a water slide for Jesus in North Carolina. I always wondered if that was a scriptural command that I never could find. Just as a side note, a portion of the water slide money came from the pocket of my very own grandma who at the time barely had two pennies to rub together. Or in her words "a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of." I often wondered if Jim ever contemplated the idea of having the words DON'T DROP THE SOAP tattooed across his undercarriage. If he did, I'd like to say I am Christian enough to forgive him for his misgivings but maybe I'm not. God said to offer our enemies our other cheek, but he never specified WHICH cheek.
Remember when we called them like we saw them? Remember when your great-aunt who was just a little bi-polar, but you speculated that she was just generally bat-crap crazy. Remember when she lit into your brother's new girlfriend at the family picnic when she took the last spoonful of potato salad like a windmill in a tornado? Remember when Aunt Hazel used to go out behind the barn to take a pinch of snuff? As near as I can tell there are only two reasons why back in the day, watching people fall off of their nut was more fun. #1) because back then we never tried to cover up the truth like a cat hiding his business in a litter box, and #2) because we felt those types were put here for our entertainment pleasure. Why not take cry able offenses and laugh about them? Life is too short not to. It was just about a quarter century ago that my former wife and I were establishing the parameters of a messy divorce, what did she do? While I was at work, she moved everything in the house that wasn't nailed down into a U-Haul and vanished like a fart in the Oklahoma wind. I take that back, she did leave a few things, my underwear, a vigorously defiled bar of Irish Spring, one egg in the fridge that was expired (one never knows, I might get hungry), and a skid mark in the driveway. What did I do, I LAUGHED! Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion. Somewhere in that store there is probably a lesson but I'll be dogged if I could tell you what it is.
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