Why Write?

Not so long ago I had a conversation with my wife, and she started off with this question; "Why do you feel the need to write?" The best way I can describe this weird phenomenon in my life is it's a bit like poor man's therapy. When my brain becomes too jumbled with thoughts it helps to organize them on paper (or in my laptop) so that my brain does not become too congested. When my brain becomes too clogged with information there isn't room for anything new until I dump the load I am already carrying. Writing for me is like a drain for my brain.

How do alleviate your own brain load? I often carry a small notebook and a pencil in my overalls like the redneck version of Jerry Seinfeld just in case something sparks my imagination or tickles my funny bone. That way it cannot escape my mental grasp. Like the time I researched why my body twitches when I am falling asleep. It said (and I quote) "this those that believe is a failsafe in our systems that kept our ancestors from falling out of the treetops." Well, they must think I am some kind of idiot, whoever THEY are. Be careful who you trust. Scripture says "blessed are those that believe without seeing" but that doesn't apply in this instance.

So, think about the human brain from a commonsense approach. There is only so much room to fit so much vital information. If you attempt to stuff ten pounds of peanut butter into a five-pound jar it is only a matter of time until you will have a mess on your hands. I have always thought that trivial information takes up more space than mathematical equations, but that's only a theory I have which is unprovable. I often wonder if doctors have what is the equivalent to total recall with all the information they must visit on any given day. Not only do they have to call upon it at will, but they must do so sometimes quickly. Just never forget, if you ever run a treble hook through the land of good and evil you can always use chimney soot and Crisco to stave off an infection. Granny said it, so it must be true. Right?

The most curious part of my humor is I don't really care if I am the only one reading it. I suppose that is a bit like saying "MY humor is for MY enjoyment." If only everyone walking around this big blue ball, we call earth were so entertained by their own company. If they were the world could be a very serene place to live. Humor is as subjective as what color underwear you wear and what kind of cheese you want on your burger. What each individual human being finds humorous is as personal as being in the restroom with the door locked or choosing to wear mock turtleneck when you know your wife is going to compare you to certain 70's spy villains. A joke that is considered poor taste by one person is the punchline of a lifetime to another. I suppose I don't take offence to people who have a good laugh at my expense because I do it even to myself. Call it painful if you like. And allow me to stipulate that when I use the word "pain" I am taking about personal embarrassment, not car wrecks. There is something very off putting about people who cannot find the humor in their own misfortune or wardrobe malfunctions. Just remember, we are all human, therefore we are all flawed and therein lies the joke that is merely waiting for a place to land. We have all had that nightmare where we showed up to work with no clothes on.

I often hear writers say things like, "I'm so lucky I'm finally getting paid to write." Are they really? The problem in that scenario is once you turn your hobby into a job then what do you do for a hobby? Just remember, you can never find joy and fulfillment in a hobby unless you are allowed to do it at your leisure. Remember, deadlines were not originated to help us relax. Thank you for letting me use your imaginations as my mental pit stop.