Why is it that the more things change the more they stay the same? Doesn't the upcoming election cycle just feel like a do-over from 2020? Same old candidates, same old issues. Two crusty old men duking it out over the topics of the day, neither getting a pass for being over the age of seventy yet becoming the nominee, nevertheless. Just exactly what are we doing to ourselves here? Do we not have any more viable candidates than these two? Keep in mind that if old jumping Joe is nominated for a second term that by the time he could finish that term he would be 86. That means Joe was alive when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, and bread was only nine cents per loaf. To give a bit more context to his age, my own mother who is in a rest home is only 78. Have we considered as a flag waving, flip flop wearing, and apple pie eating nation that maybe we are being cheated? Surely there is a better route to get where we need to be.
If I see one more democrat yelling and holding a sign that says, "MY BODY, MY CHOICE" I'm going to lose my mind. If that logic applies to abortion, why doesn't it apply to Covid shots?" I remember being in Art Smalley's weld shop back in the seventies, drinking my cane sugar filled Mountain Dew and listening to those crusty old cranks talk politics. That was the fun part, the sad part is none of the topics have changed in the past forty years. It seems to me as smart as we are collectively, we could have solved some of those questions in that kind of time. I can nearly quote the issues verbatim, states' rights, the economy, and the whining that happens every time there is a two-cent hike in the price of a first-class stamp. Just between you, me, and the fence post, I don't think I could get a letter from Oklahoma to Alaska for 68 cents, that sounds like a logistical nightmare to me. Yes, it is true that the cost of everything from TV dinners to Preparation H is up. As granny used to say, "reality is everything." It wasn't so long ago I went to a local sporting goods store to see if I could find a new pair of flip flops for summer. Remember when they were $5!? Not anymore! These days they have added an ever-so-slightly thicker soul, glued some fake bling on them, and have started charging north of $70 and that's just on the women's side of the isle. I am far too tight to go into hock up to my ears just in order to keep my feet cool this summer, for those prices I'll just go barefoot. Being tighter than bark on a tree is one of the few luxuries I still have at my age. It seems these days the only product that doesn't continue to go up is bananas, you can still buy a whole stock of them for a buck and that's confusing because they have to come over here on a freighter ship.
Now, where was I, oh yes voting. Don't we owe it to ourselves to hire someone into the highest office in the world who is under the age of fifty? One might say these men are Timex watches in a digital age. And this is probably one of the few times you won't see me come down on the side of the old timers. Hell, in 20 years I'll be one of them! But should a man who is wearing an adult diaper be put in charge of the nuclear football? When people use phrases like "60 is the new 50" that's just a way for them to keep the black candles off their birthday cake. That's just a way for aging men to talk themselves into the fact that they can still attract women in their 40's by traditional methods. By the time they have resorted to hair plugs, a gym membership, and buying a Porche it just becomes sad. Trust me when I tell you there is no better feeling in the world than living long enough that you have NOTHING left to prove to ANYONE. It's a freeing feeling that is nearly too good to be described, and it's making me consider dusting off my fanny pack. If a man is going to tempt fate he might as well, do it in style.
And I didn't come here today just to pick on old Joe. I will say that I am fan of Mr. Trump up to a point. I especially like the way he manages the press and the economy with his John Wayne attitude. I like the way he calls out other countries who tend to take a ride on old glory on our time and our dime, there has been far too much of that going on for too long. To say that I am a fan is to say that I am fan of his results but maybe not so much of his methods. It seems that anarchy seems to follow the man wherever he goes, and we need less of that in the world, not more. The press may be stretching the truth more thana sumo wrestlers Fruit-of-the-Loom's, but bad news is bad news. I have a number of questions for old Donald and here they are in no certain order. We all know he has all the cash in the world to buy the affections of other women. Having said that I assume that means he could have his pick, so why Miss Daniels out of all there are to pick from? And what about his beautiful and (seemingly thoughtful) wife? Where does she fit into this mess? The press referring to her as "STORMY" seems a little juvenile to me like strippers named Candy, Jade, and Destiny. Let's take the truth of this narrative just one step further and ask, because we chose to put up with such a circus what does that say about our country collectively? Does Miss Daniels really think of herself as a decent negotiator? One hundred and thirty thousand dollars seems like a fairly paltry sum of money to extort from someone with such a big pile. And I will make my last question the question of the day, why do they call it hush money when nobody ever does? I have not even gotten to the part where Mr. Trump must remain under a "gag order" or that the star witness in the trail for the past few weeks name is "Mr. Pecker." I mean, come on folks, at this point aren't these jokes just writing themselves? If it is possible to be entertained and embarrassed at the same time; I am.
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