Nakedness

It's interesting that no matter who we are nakedness is always subjective. In many European countries women often go topless at beaches and in commercials, I should remind you that is considered normal there. Although, it should also be pointed out that only in America are breast are considered sexual. When I was a kid porn was not a thing yet. The best we could hope for in the 70's was when one of our dad's discarded and old Playboy magazine and we just happen to be lucky enough to fish it out of the dumpster before the trash man got to it. As humans we (and especially as young men) were embarrassed when we were caught with such pictures. Although it should be pointed out in seriousness and in jest that God made us this way. So maybe when a young man says "THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT" that isn't exactly true. When you looked at Miss January 1986 and you felt a warm sensation in your BVD's that isn't shameful; it's just God's plan. At least that's the way I see it.

Not so far from my home here in Broken Arrow in a little wide place in the road called Depew is a resort of sorts named "Oak Park Trails." On their sign it says, "Naturalist Park" and then these activities added below: biking, camping, pool, and spa. This can only mean one thing, people who choose to air out their privates in public are every bit as bored as the rest of us. One would think that being naked in public would be enough recreation for one day, at least I do. In instances like these it's a good thing men's thoughts don't reside in a bubble over the top of their heads like in the comic strip blondie; if they did, we would probably all be in jail.

I often hear other adults talking about doing what is often referred to as "spicing things up." But if the parameters of decency must be stretched that far in order to keep things interesting with our spouses maybe we just aren't doing it right. Sex is supposed to be fulfilling and feel good, if it doesn't, I say why bother? If a man cannot become exclusively interesting to his wife with a dimmer switch, a cup of coffee, and a crackling fire maybe there just any hope left for them. But one thing is true in life, there will always be extremes and those that want to partake in them. This is where I come into the picture. NO, I don't participate in such foolishness, but I love to laugh at those who do. Many people want to stamp out absurdity, but I don't. Were it not for absurdity I would run out of things to write about rather quickly. Where is the fun in that?

This puts me in mind of a joke I heard. A little old lady started incessantly calling the police and complaining about her neighbor who she claimed was exposing himself to her. Calling on the neighbor a few times in consecutive days the investigating officer was satisfied that there was really nothing vile going on at the neighbor's house. The officer, wanting to put a stop to these phone calls once and for all went to talk to the woman. She claimed her kitchen window faced the neighbor's bedroom window and this part WAS true. Although he noted there was no way she was tall enough to see in. The officer, even being 6'4" couldn't see in the neighbor's house. She turned to the cop and told him, here you have to stand on this ladder. She was then taken to the nearest ER, treated for a crook in her neck, and then released on her own recognizance. Albeit reluctantly.

If one knows where to look online, he can find a local Tulsa news station video of an interview with a woman who frequents Oak Park Trails. The conversation went something like this, "mam, what do enjoy most about visiting here?" Her answer, "It's just freeing, you know when you are forced to live in a textile world we cannot wait to come home, shed our clothes, and feel just wonderful." I'm sorry, that might possibly be the hippiest filled, please pass the water bong, and save me a vegetarian burger I have ever heard in my life. What is she trying to do, throw cotton growers under the bus?

While it is true that God dropped us all kicking and screaming into this world with nothing more than the skin we are in, it's also true we were not meant to be that way 24/7. Adam and Eve ruined that for all of us. I'll bet that man got very familiar quickly of just how far a fig leaf could be stretched to cover the land of good and evil with a strategically placed fig leaf. While we can point fingers and say that many are the people that feel that nakedness is part of their free expression, but I'll remind you that it is also my right to turn my head and run like my hair is on fire. If it looks like an old catcher's mitt nobody wants to look at it.