Being Monica

Do you remember when you stole a piece of bubble gum from the corner store as a kid and you thought the world was coming to an end because mom made you take it back and apologize? Of course, you well remember how embarrassed we were when we laid it on the counter and said in a sheepish voice, "I'm sorry." The upside to that disaster however is that it happened when we were five years old, and out of three people that remember the incident you are the only one still alive. That seems to be one of the few upsides to aging. Now picture if you will that the person who stole the gum was Monica Lewinsky, the storekeeper was Bill Clinton, and the powers that be that made SURE you never forgot about your transgression (for the rest of your days) was Linda Tripp. The only thing worse than someone knowing your mistakes is having that exact someone unable to keep a secret. If Linda got two pair the whole table would know.

Imagine being haunted by a mistake you made at the tender age of 22. I'll in fact take that narrative one step further; imagine being DEFINED by a mistake you made when you were barely out of your teens, this is how Monica's life has gone. How many of us made stupid mistakes during that time in our lives? Yes, I see that ALL hands are raised including my own. Now imagine that said mistake would haunt you for the rest of your life, seems unfair, doesn't it? Imagine that no matter where you go or what you do everyone will picture you doing questionable things to a married setting president. Sure, she realizes now that it wasn't just a run-of-the-mill mistake, it was the mistake that ate Cleveland. Had she been 42 instead of 22 she might have even taken enough time to pause before the pending disaster or headed off the problem completely. But being in the throes of what (I'm sure to her at the time) felt like a full-fledged affair with the most powerful man in the free world felt distracting and daunting.

Looking back on it now, I think we can all agree Bill wasn't into that relationship for the long haul. He was merely horny, feeling opportunistic, and was looking for a warm moist place to temporarily rest Mr. Johnson. WHICH HE NO DOUBT DID! The problem lies in the fact that to him she was just another notch on his Lincoln bedroom bedpost. To her it felt as though the most important man in the world took an interest in her. Sex wasn't the most important thing to her at the time; it was just a way to get and temporarily keep his attention. And momentarily it did work, that is until it didn't.

Interestingly, not so long ago I watched a conversation with Mr. Clinton about the incident, and his reaction was this, "I didn't set out to make the stupidest move a man in a high position could make, it just sort of happened." But I wonder if he can take the blinders off the microscope of his own life long enough to realize that's EXACLY what happened. Bill, in our lifetime has often been the poster boy for how NOT to conduct ourselves. Bill is such a stellar politician at providing double speak with a forked tonged, that his answers often sound less insidious than they are. Other times they are just so peppered with "good old boy" adjectives some journalist will even forget the question was to begin with. Just keep in mind that being a great politician is a gift, it's just not a compliment, although it might sound like one. We should also remember that Bill was a womanizer L-O-N-G before he arrived in DC, in fact his nickname "Slick Willy" stuck to him when he was still the governor of Arkansas. This just means that his reputation preceded him by better than a thousand miles. The good people of Arkansas tried to warn us to no avail.

Along the same lines I also saw Monica asked the same question. She refused to answer the question and left the stage. Who could blame her? It was better than three decades ago folks, move on with your life folks! I doubt there is much new information. Keep in mind she is now into fashion (surely into her early fifties) and making her own line of purses as well. The questions they allotted were to be supposed to be about fashion topics, but the jackass reporter evidently couldn't help herself. We should all realize at this point (even though Bill and Monica have not seen each other in years) he is the host, and she is merely a parasite. Is it a fair comparison, no, but is it truthful? Without a doubt, it is. Because if Bill refuses to indulge the public about an affair that happened 30 years ago, they just move on to the next topic, but if she returns in kind her chosen career path for all intents and purposes is DOA. Which is to say that without Bill, there is no Monica. In other words, if she refuses to feed the rumor machine she is of no use to the press. In the words of Metallica, it's "sad but true."

It should also be pointed out in seriousness and in jest just how bullet proof Bill Clinton's reputation was and still is. Two weeks after the scandal broke his approval rating skyrocketed to better than 65%. This simply means that very few people were paying attention to his personal dealings and were instead fixated on the economy. The economy at the time was going gang busters and we all know (be it right or wrong) Americans usually vote with their wallets. Some of you might say, ah it's his personal life, leave him be. But I should remind you that in the same office where Bill thought it was proper to get a reach around Ronald Reagan refused to even take off his dress jacket. That may have something to do with a generational gap, or it may be just a lack of respect and pride. Whichever side you come down on I think we can all agree there is a lesson to be learned. The free love generation tried to teach us that nothing was off the table, but the truth remains that if we lay with dog's we run the risk of getting fleas.