ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. Like everything else in this touchy, feely new world it begins and ends with acronyms, like LOL. For those of us that over the age of fifty that stands for laugh out loud. I'd like to propose a new acronym for us in the Gen-X generation I'd call (WCWS) or Who Cares Whipper Snapper! I am 57 years old and the only reason I know what LOL stands for is because I have a child who under the age of 30. By the way, before I forget ASMR is defined as follows, "A feeling of well-being combined with a tingling sensation in the scalp and down the neck, as experienced by some in response to a specific gentle stimulus, often a particular sound. It's triggered by sounds like whispering voices, paper tearing, or scalp massages." I must ask, is the fact that I find such things annoying make me normal or just a grouchy old sumbitch? I must always entertain the idea that whatever I am ranting about starts with me, if only for a moment.
Now picture this if you will, a young man living in the dust bowl days was just asked by his father to help plow the field and tote drinking water from the well and he answers with "Sure dad, right after the appointment to have my scalp massaged." The old man probably would have whacked him in the head with a shovel and he would have been totally justified in doing so. The point is it seems we have lost our grip on reality to the point where the things that matter most have somehow slipped through the cracks. This is defined by my generation as insanity, or the very least absurdity. It seems I can never walk away from absurdity without having some fun at its expense. I have of course noted that the young folks that are tied up in such ridiculousness have things hanging in their homes like burning sage, lava lamps, dragons made of hemp, and no kooks interior design is complete without a set of crystal balls. Just remember all of this crapola hinges ever so slightly on the work of the devil. If you disbelieve my premise, just ask your Bible toting great aunt.
The part where I would possibly stipulate is where CBS Sunday Morning claims that ASMR can cause feelings of well-being and actually drive down blood pressure readings without the dangers of taking street drugs like heroin. Although I should point out that they have been saying the same thing about the act of petting a dog for years. I suppose my question of the day is why all of a sudden do people need to be mentally propped up? At what point did we become so mentally weak as a nation that every move we make must require a pat on the back like we are still in kindergarten learning the alphabet? While I can neither confirm nor deny the claims made about the medical benefits of ASMR I would have to say, if all that is true why not do it? Yes, I will still be over here in Okie land rolling my eyes, but you shouldn't let my doubt stand in your way. If you can figure out how to sidestep a few well-placed land minds I say go crazy.
My wife was the first one to bring this to my attention via Tik-Tok, which as far as I am concerned is just a platform owned by the Chi-Coms for people who are exceedingly bored to waste valuable time. Remember the good old days when a drag race meant a muscle car with four wheels and an engine with loads of horsepower? Now a drag race just requires a roll of duct tape and a tube of lip gloss. I try to spend as little time online as possible. It seems like the more time we spend there the more skewed our thinking becomes. In short, it makes us weird. There is already enough low fruit hanging off our family tree without tempting the mentally bizarre and morally bankrupt.
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